Yo dont text me then not text me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
