Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
