mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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