I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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