i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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