So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
