he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I woke up under a house in Key West
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