you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I look better un-naked...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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