Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
