Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
