i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
