Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
