is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
