He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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