my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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