NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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