So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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