I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Need sex. Gaining weight.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
