spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
