I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
