He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize