I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
