I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
