I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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