what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
