and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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