margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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