Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
