called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
