I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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