weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
