youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
