I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
