Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
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he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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