I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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