We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
