why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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