Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My balls are so social today.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
