weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i drank out of a bidet.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
