my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
