I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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