Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize