Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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