When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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