How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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