youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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