Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
