i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize