I saw his package. It spoke to me.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This show inspires me to have sex in space
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
