Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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