walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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