Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
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I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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