do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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