im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
only you would photoshop your dick
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize