My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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