How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
