yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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