Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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