just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize