Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
