She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
