So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
