and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
