Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
