We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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